The
general question / assumption that I get from people as I draw closer to Japan
is that I must be excited. But for the longest time, I felt the most ominous
sense of calm and neutrality that would make anyone question whether I
genuinely want to go to Japan. And believe me, I do. I’ve been wanting to go for
many years and to finally have a shot at both going there and starting on a
potential career path is simply awesome. In fact, exactly one month from today,
I will be getting on that plane but the excitement still hasn’t fully set it yet. And further still, there will be a lot of things that won’t be easily accessible to me
and a lot of things that I will have to get used to – whether I find them easy to
adjust to or not. And of course, sometimes there will be those moments when I’m
sitting alone and that sense of aloneness will make me consider what I’ve
actually left behind.
Conveniences
The
fact that I was born in London and that I grew up here means that I am very
much aware of how to get by. Simple things such as buying something at the
supermarket, travelling to another part of the UK or sending mail via the
post office are extremely easy for me to do but doing such things in Japan
where I’m not fully aware of the practises, nor do I have a common language, are
going to seem ten times harder for me. Other typical things such as navigating my
way around or ordering take away over the phone are going to be extremely
trying and probably frustrating as well. It was only by chance, when
I was drinking a bottle of Lucozade while queuing up to pay for it with a
Japanese friend of mine, that I found out that opening any item of food or drink
before actually paying for it in Japan would get me in serious trouble, whereas
in the UK, as long as one has the intention to pay for it, this isn’t the case.
I’m going to have to adapt to a completely new set of rules and methods for
doing things. My little conveniences will be next to no more.
Home
In
London, I live in a pretty good place. I have a large park about two minutes
from my front door and this place is great for those keen on exercise as well
as the odd festival or fun fair. Five minutes from my house, I have shops and
take away establishments for my every day (or once in a while essentials). There
is a bus stop not a minute away and I have easy access to both the underground and
the overhead trains. If I travel into Central London for a night out on the
town, I find it incredibly easy to get home at four o clock in the morning. In
fact, I can travel just about anywhere from my location and Google Maps has
been so good to me. As I’m still not aware of where I will be living for the
next year or so, I have no idea whether my living space will be as good as the
house I grew up in. I will certainly miss it and all the benefits that come with it.
Food
Everybody
has a favourite food and while I’ve gone through my share of weaknesses (which
might still actually be weaknesses) e.g. chocolate, there are quite a few
things that I know that the Japanese simply won’t have. In fact, I’m going to
have to find new goodies when I’m over there and say goodbye to all my
luxuries. For example, I’m actually a great lover of cheese – especially when
melted – but I know that it’s very difficult to find in Japan so I’m pretty
much getting my cheese fix in the next month so that I can prepare myself to
give it up. Other goodies like Ribena – my childhood fixation – and Crunchy Nut
Cornflakes – which are truly truly
addictive – will have to go on the scrap heap, because I doubt I’ll come across them
in Japan and as with other food that I’m used to, I’m sure it’s not gonna taste
exactly like home (unless it’s imported that is). This is not that big of a
deal however - it’s not like I’m saying goodbye to food in general - but I don’t
doubt that I won’t miss a great steaming heap of Mexican chicken in a brioche
bun once in a while.
Blending
In
As I’ve
mentioned previously, London is a multi-cultural hot pot. There isn’t a race or
culture or type of person that doesn’t exist here and even if they don’t, if
they were to enter into the UK ad introduce their culture to the city, I doubt
people would bat an eyelid much as it’s all been done before. I’m a third
generation West Indian. Both my parents were born in the UK while my
grandparents immigrated here in the sixties. I’m no one special. People don’t
pay me any mind, but in Japan, I’m going to stand out ridiculously. I’m a woman
and by British standards, I’m average but by Japanese standards, I’m huge. I’m
also black and we make up around 5% of the population in the UK but have had
enough presence to warrant a sense of normality. In Japan, the amount of black
people or non-Japanese is very small meaning that I won’t be able to blend in
at all. I’ll be a constant abnormal presence in Japan and I know I’ll be stared
at to the point of irritation. I’ll miss not be able to fade into the
background.
Essentials
In
the same way that all my favourite foods will be left behind, so will all the
products I’m accustomed to using. As a woman, I have my regime. I’m not overly
feminine but I’m aware of what works for me and I like to stick to what I know.
It’s therefore unfortunate for me that Japan doesn’t have any of the products
that I use or that are necessities to me. I’ve heard a rumour that
Japanese deodorant is weaker than the western variants and that a lot of Japanese
toothpastes don’t contain fluoride (please feel free to confirm or dispute this
as I’m not in the know). The fact that I won’t be able to access such products
with ease any more did have me concerned for a while until I found a website
from the UK that does actually deliver every single one of my items overseas.
Naturally however, this will probably cost a fortune and so while I hope I’ll
be able to find some products in Japan that might agree with me, I’m still
leaning towards what I already know.
English
It’s
no secret that the Japanese are on the English flex in a similar fashion to
most non-English speaking countries around the world. I have heard that if a
Japanese person can speak English (and if they’re confident enough), they will
use the opportunity to converse with English natives which is pretty useful for
us foreigners. However, just because there are some that can speak English, it doesn’t mean that this is the case for everyone or everywhere. The news will be
in Japanese, newspapers will be in Japanese, signs will be in Japanese…etc,
because low and behold, I will be living in Japan. This means that I’m not
going to be understood all the time and that even speaking to Japanese people
who can speak English will be, on occasion, fraught with difficulties. And while
I know that I shouldn’t expect English speaking to be an everyday occurrence
and nor should I simply give up in my conquest to learn Japanese, there will be
times when I’ll simply desire to switch off my brain and have a typical
conversation in English with no problems or misunderstandings whatsoever.
Friends
I’m
not the kind of person that seeks to have many friends. In fact, I’ve brushed shoulders
with a lot of people in my life but there are very few that I consider my
friend and fewer people still who I trust with myself. In all honesty, as bad as it
might be to say, I find it incredibly easy to cut people off if I feel like
there’d be no benefit to keeping in contact with them. Additionally, however, I can often go long
periods of time without contact with others – even my closest friends – but despite this I still value their friendship. I have odd relationships with
people and choose what I share with people and what I don’t share with others
but I will miss the relationships I’ve struck up with them. I will miss going
out to dance the night away or rolling on the floor laughing until my sides
split. I will miss sharing a meal at TGI Fridays or having a diplomatic
conversation with those of my friends who are likeminded. And even though I know that some of
my friendships will transcend time, I will miss the measured proximity I’ll
have had with them when I’m halfway across the world
Family
I’ve
talked about my family on my blog before and how I don’t generally feel that
close to them and while in some cases, this does still stand, I think it’s only
recently that I’ve realised that despite our differences, I’m going to miss my
family most of all. I’ve stated up to this point that I haven’t actually felt
any other emotion about my moving abroad besides neutrality, but I was actually met with a bout of
sadness not too long ago and it didn’t actually hit me until my mother’s
birthday party. All my family were around me. When I unveiled my flight date, there was a still sense of (what I now believe might have been) sadness from
them that I initially mistook for coldness but then as everybody began to enjoy
themselves and I started mingling, I realised that I was getting
homesick and I hadn’t actually left my living room. As a gift to my mother, I
got a professional photo of us done together and even looking at it hanging up on
the wall makes me relive those feelings even more. But fortunate, I’ve
been told by others who have upped and left that this is normal so I don’t feel
completely bad for it. But I will miss them because despite our lack of
togetherness and the occasions when they’ve driven me insane, because they’ve always
been there for me. And even though I won’t be able to physically reach out and
touch them, they will continue to be there for me still.
~
So
yes, I have slandered London and there are quite a few things that are ugly about
this place, but it’s my city and it’s in this city that I’ve lived my life up
until this moment. And even though I know it’s not forever, I’ve never taken
quite as big a step as I will be taking next month. So I will miss it terribly.
But I’ll definitely be back some day. And hopefully with a string of
adventures, teaching experience and life experience under my belt.