The Japan Files ~ To Do List

So I already know that I’m going to Japan even though no date has been confirmed yet but in crossing into a new culture, there are definitely some things that I want to do while I’m there because who knows? I may not even like it. In fact, I may even be hit a little too hard with culture shock  so that all I'll want to do is come home…

…

…

…

Nah.

Knowing myself, however, the chances of that being the case might be pretty slim. I can’t wait to stick my fingers in this culture that I’ve read and heard so much about so this will act as my Bucket List, plus or minus a few things that might crop up in the future…

~

Now if that isn't a Bullet Train...

Ride the Shinkanzen

Japanese trains are known for being one of the most punctual and efficient in the world. But this extends to Japanese people who consider it incredibly rude if you’re late. In actuality, people are often early as oppose to just 'on time' and I guess it indicates a show of respect. That said, the trains that run along this sophisticated construction are known as some of the fastest trains in the world. Known for their speed, comfort and safety (and also, for the expense), I’ve got to get on one of these at least once (or twice), especially considering that I’m going to want to jump ship and visit other cities and prefectures.

Locate a Love Hotel

These establishments were born in Japan during the Edo period and are nowadays primarily of use to couples who are seeking a bit of “alone time”. In Japan, it isn’t uncommon for people to stay at home with their parents after university whereas in the west, we are encouraged to find a place of our own. More often than not, people don’t want to bring their romantic interests into their parents’ house so they head to these little boutique-style destinations for a little privacy. I’ve heard they’re hard to find because of their discreet nature but I’m sure I’ll come across one at some point.

Go to a theme park

Tokyo Disneyland. Universal Studios. Nagashima Resort. I love me a good theme park. Rollercoasters are win and the faster and taller the rollercoaster, the better. I feel like a kid again whenever I enter these establishments and they’re general good for a day out with friends. So in the interest of being truly ‘genki’ for a day, I think I’ll have to find my way to one of these

Visit an Onsen

The ‘hot spring’ (or public bath) is something I’d love to try, especially one that’s outdoors. It’s general used as a means of relaxing as well as its appeal to tourists (like myself…sorta) but a lot of them have strict ‘no tattoos’ policies because in Japan, a tattoo is often associated with criminals. Considering that I have a tattoo smack bang in the centre of my back, this might be a problem. But I have read that some foreigners have managed to enter into onsen irrespective. Maybe people are more forgiving of foreigners with tattoos? Hopefully…

Eat Japanese food...in Japan

It’s one thing to eat Japanese food in the UK, but I’m pretty certain that eating Japanese food in Japan will be a completely new experience altogether. And there’s a lot I want to try as well. Okonomiyaki, ramen, soba, tenppanyaki, dango, sushi, oyakodon and stuff I haven’t even heard of yet. I’ll give most of it a go.

Visit a Temple or Shrine

I don’t know too much about these establishments but I do know that they are often the embodiment of religion or ritual and that they’re to be respected. Perhaps similar to the equivalent of walking into a church or a mosque. Therefore, as a crucial part of Japanese culture, I would like to visit one and of course, offer up a prayer. A lot are often still steeped in history meaning that they’re quite stunning to behold. Shame about the no photography rules though.

Going hard - Japan Style

Paint the town red

I haven’t been out properly in London for quite some time but I’ll have never been out and experienced the night life in Japan either. So I intend to find a club out there somewhere and shake a leg. I’m not much of a drinker so I don’t know how that will bode well with other people. I’ve heard that Japan is a lot like England in that sense ~ a big drinking country. But more often than not, if I don’t want any more to drink than I won’t have any more to drink. Dancing however? That’s another ball game. As long as the music is good, I can stay on the dance floor all night. So J-pop clubs and Hip Hop clubs, here I come.

Go to a Karaoke bar

Even though it’s uncertain, it is generally believed that karaoke was born in Japan and in fact it’s still a popular form of entertainment today. I think I’ve only done karaoke publicly once in the UK but in Japan, I’ve heard that you can rent a booth with friends and sing the night away. I fully intend to give my vocal chords a good work out at some point during my time in Japan.

Befriend a local

I have a couple of Japanese friends already and I’m currently in correspondence with some foreigners like (and unlike myself) who are currently working out there as well. But what’s an extra friend of two to help you get around a bit. I know this is going to be a bit difficult considering that I can’t speak a lick of conversational Japanese at the moment, but I think it would be cool to make friends with a local. I’m quite reserved in nature but not trying to make friends would be very stupid of me.

Visit Tokyo

Japan’s capital city. It’s only right that I visit this place. I already know that I won’t be living in it and that’s fine really.It’s known as potentially the most expensive place in Japan. Nonetheless, I’ve just got to go there. Roppongi. Harajuku. Akihabara. Tsukiji Market. The Ghibli Museum. These are just some of the places that others have told me to stop by and visit. So I’m definitely gonna get my Tokyo fix.

Locate a Host Club

As an extension of the above, host clubs are places where men and women go to laugh and drink the night away in the company of an attractive stranger. Sounds a bit suspect, doesn’t it but they’re quite popular. It is the job of “hosts” and “hostesses” to keep their patrons entertained by pouring drinks, flirting, lighting cigarettes…etc, and they’re paid dependant on sales generated. I have heard it said however that some of these places are Yakuza run so while I want to locate one, going inside one mightn’t be an option.

Learn some Japanese

I’ve always been of the mindset that if you’re going to live in another country than you should bloody well learn the language. And even though I know the odd word and phrase, I couldn’t have a conversation in Japanese to save my life. So I’ve got to make a conscious effort to get some Japanese under my belt. And when I’m out there, I’ve got no excuse really.

~

So yes, these are a but a few things I'd like to tick off during my time in Japan. Some of them are a sure thing; others may be a little bit harder. 

In a way though, as I look back at this list, I realise I'm looking at Japan from a tourists perspective so I'll say it again, it still doesn't feel like it's sunk in that I'm moving to Japan. I'm aware that I'm going to have to take my entire life here in London and convert it into some form of Japanese standard, but I guess all I can do is cross that bridge when I come to it.

The ESL Job Search Ends ~ And So It Begins...

Look out Japan! Here I come.

That’s right! The results are in. I am officially going to Japan en route with iTTTi Japan – Peppy Kids Club.

Mount Fuji 

That ten day wait I mentioned previously actually became seven and even though I haven’t an official start date as the iTTTi representative needs to confirm dates with Human Resources, one thing is certain, and that is that I will be on my way to the land of the rising sun.

It hasn’t sunk in yet but you can bet that my brain has already gone into overdrive. I’ve already made a long list of things that I’ll need to take care of between now and then but fundamentally, I think I’m going to use this weekend to chill out before going at it hard from Monday.

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I have a serious control-freak issue.

Don’t worry. It’s not with reference to people, but with regards to how I deal with planning, preparation and the like. I’m not the kind of person who leaves things to the last minute so I fully expect that I’ll be good and ready to go at least a month or so in advance.

But we’ll see.

Sometimes things don’t always go according to plan after all.

It has been a long time coming. I think it was around late 2011 that I started pondering teaching English overseas. I had considered doing a weekend TEFL course but after speaking to my supervisor, she recommended that I try something a little bit more solid. I did my research in early 2012 and found the course in April/May of the same year. I read blogs. I read forums. I emailed people and upon completing my Trinity Certificate in September 2012, I decided that after I’d saved a substantial amount of money, I would begin my search.

I’m fortunate that I didn’t have to go through many interviews. And I’m also, fortunate that I managed to find work in the country that I desired to go to the most. So I would say to anyone pondering this journey to fight for it.

If you want to go abroad, whether to teach or otherwise, keep persevering. Do what you have to do to get there because you’ll feel a great sense of achievement once you know you’re on the way.

As for me. I’m about to start my own adventure.

Let the real journey of self-discovery begin...

The ESL Job Search Continues – Peppy Kids Club

So Peppy Kids Club has become the fourth interview in my expedition to find work teaching English abroad – and the third for Japan.

If it isn’t obvious by now, it’s an after school club of sorts that caters primarily to children. They say they’re the third largest school of this jurisdiction in Japan but the number one for children. Sounds good to me. Very reputable even.

I will admit, however, that I did have my reservations. I’d read mixed reviews online, but after speaking with a couple of people who had actually worked there, I decided to send in an application. My interview was scheduled for two weeks later and so off I went.

I arrived forty-five minutes early to this one. A downgrade from the ECC interview, but still way too early so I dossed about for thirty of those minutes – found a skirt in Topshop that I think I’ll buy next week – and then eventually went in.

My interview commenced with a grammar and writing test. The grammar test questions were pretty standard – identify the error and insert the correction type stuff. For the written part of the test, I had to pick one question and write a 300 word (or less) essay type response. Halfway through this section, my pen ran out of ink so I had to embarrassingly step out of the room and ask for a pen. Fortunately, the interviewer was really nice about it. She gave me one and told me to keep it.

The second part was a presentation. I knew most of the information already, but there were some handy parts that I didn’t know or had actually intended to ask questions about. The interviewer was really pleasant and made me feel at ease. I was then shown a DVD of a typical Peppy Kids lesson and got some laughs out of it.

The third part was the section I’d been dreading, but interview questions are pretty much the highlight of every interview, aren’t they? Fortunately for me, I’d done some research beforehand and some of the questions that people had mentioned actually came up in the interview so I had some answers ready. There was one question that did catch me out, however, despite the fact that I had looked it up.  I was asked how I’d deal with two disruptive students so I talked about introducing a merit system. I was then asked what I would do if it didn’t work. I actually went quiet for a moment because I hadn’t expected this, but somehow managed to churn out an answer about channelling that energy into something positive. I have no idea how I pulled that one out as in general, I don’t really feel like I interview too well.

The final part was my teaching demo. I’d pre-planned this and I’m glad I did because initially I wasn’t going to and the interviewer seemed very pleased with this. (I think my experiences with ECC might have potentially made me lazy). Overall, however, this went okay as well.

They took my photo and I nearly walked out without the documents that I was supposed to bring.

This included both my original degree certificate and my passport.

What the fuck?

Overall, I thought it went well but the last time I thought something went well, I got rejected, so we’ll have to wait and see.

I was told it would be ten days before I hear anything.

Let the countdown begin.

The ESL Job Search Continues – Teach Away

So I have a really bad habit of jumping the gun.

When things don’t go according to plan, I don’t like it. What can I say? I’m an epic control freak and the sad thing is, is that it’s probably not going to change.

So after facing rejection from ECC, I decided to expand my search to include Hong Kong and China. I don’t really know a lot about these places – not in the way that I do Japan – but I know people in Hong Kong and I’ve spoken to people in China so I thought, why not give it ago.

On the interwebs, there’s a huge debate about using recruiters versus applying to the companies directly, and thinking about it, it probably is within anyone’s best interest to go to the companies directly. However, for someone like me who doesn’t really know where to start in terms of China or Hong Kong, I’m thinking that I’m probably gonna benefit from a recruiter.

And I was pretty desperate too so I jumped the gun without really doing too much research and submitted an application to Teach Away.

A lady named Angela (not her real name) got back to me pretty quickly and scheduled an interview with me for today stating that the school she had in mind was called English First and that the branch they worked with were based in Daqing, China.

Now all I know about Daqing is that it’s definitely not a multicultural hot pot. There are very few foreigners about so it’s an ideal location if one wants to get stuck into the real China, but it’s not the location that concerns me – it’s the company. And low and behold, when I then did my research into them, I came across a whole host of problems based on the experiences of other people and it’s got me biting my nails a bit.

I’ve read peoples’ experiences concerning late pay, unhelpful Directors of Studies, unruly students (but that’s a given) and unfriendly Chinese co-workers. I’ve read about people who’ve left the country without so much as a “farewell” or people that have simply left and moved onto other companies – all stating the same thing; avoid, avoid, AVOID!

ECC was the dream because I couldn’t find a bad word against them, but all these other schools I’m coming across seem to be a meagre second and it’s giving me a lot of food for thought. But I figured that I’d already scheduled the interview and it would definitely be an experience so I didn’t cancel and I had my interview not one hour ago.

I also didn’t prepare for it.

Probably a bad move.

Maybe that's telling me something.

Anyway, it lasted about 15-20 minutes and it didn’t go particularly well. Angela asked me some qualification questions which she seemed happy with but her praise-worthy responses soon depleted when I only had one question to ask her about the company. She then went on to ask me interview questions concerning how I’d motivate my students, how I’d introduce a new word and how I’d cope with living in another country.

I’m not the kind of person who can just wing an interview. I have to prepare or I’m guaranteed to flop. The only time I don’t have to prepare for an interview as much is if I already have extensive experience in the industry. Interviewing for my current place of work wasn’t new to me, but teaching English abroad is, so I need all the preparation I can get.

Irrespective, she said that she’d forward my details onto the employer but ultimately, the decision lies with them and considering that they’ve managed to employ people up to November this year, I suspect they’ve probably had a lot of applicants.

But I guess I need to ask myself a real question and that is, should, by some fluke, I get this interview, am I wasting this company’s time? Do I really want to work for them when I know damn well that my heart is still with Japan?

Call of the Wild - Mating Season

It’s that time of year again folks.

That time of year where the clothes come off and the people can’t help but look and stare and gawk at what she’s got or what he’s carrying in hopes that by chance, they’ll be able to play that infamous game of one on one.

You know what I’m talking about?

And contrary to the abysmal weather we’ve tend to have here in the UK, we have actually managed to have a few sunny spots of late with people royally take advantage of it. Heck, nearby where I live, there’s a huge park so all the singles come out in their shorts and bikinis in hope of catching some sun, knocking back a few beers and playing a casual game of Frisbee. But underneath the furore, the childlike frolicking and happy chappy jumping and jiving, there’s that subtle undertone. Because we don’t wear sunglasses simply to keep the rays out of our eyes – no siree. Sunglasses have another use because we all know that we can’t help but check out that buxom beauty or that handsome devil knowing full well that they can’t see us stealing a glance…

…or several.

Yes, folks. Roll over Valentine’s Day! Because when the summer sun hits our shores, everyone starts looking a little more attractive. And we’re much happier too meaning that we’re a little more accommodating. Who needs alcohol really when the hot rays beaming down upon us raise our serotonin levels making us happier than normal, therefore generally more personable as individuals? So that guy who cracks a lewd joke or two in the winter might have been considered creepy but in the summer, he becomes cheeky, endearing, even possibly hilarious.

In fact, people are so hot on this idea of romance and getting together that our televisions are being graced with an influx of documentaries and reality television all about dating in 21stcentury England. And even though I’m single and loving it, this just happens to be one of my favourite topics so this is gold as far as I’m concerned.

But with the gold comes the silver and what stands up usually must stand down sooner or later because for those of us desperately searching for a mate, it can be a bit of a rough time. And similarly, those of us on the receiving end of those affections might find their experiences likened to swatting away flies.

We can’t all look like Barbie with her ample bosom, narrow waist and round pert rear, nor can we all look like an Adonis with his taut muscles, chiselled features and pronounced package, but that’s life and we have to make do with what we’ve got when we’re on the prowl. For some people, however, this simply will not do and that means going that extra mile to turn themselves into something that they’re not. After all, for men, it’s a competition and for women…it’s a competition. We go out of our way to make ourselves look attractive to the opposite sex – or even the same sex. And what I’ve come to find amongst my male friends and even family members, is that muscles make the man; muscles attract the women. Similarly, for us women – slimmer is better, boobies are bigger and youth will win you the hearts of everyone.

Right?

Possibly.

Probably though?

No.

You see, the other day I met the girlfriend of a friend of mine for the first time. Based on his own boyish good looks, I was expecting his girlfriend to look like a model, but the girl in actually looked relatively ordinary and surprisingly, this shocked me. I brought this to his attention because I’ve seen the kind of women who he often checks out and they look nothing like his girlfriend. His response was interesting though as he stated that while he might check out the standard “beautiful woman” once in a while, the type of girl he’d decided he’d take for his girlfriend had to have something…more.

And so while we’re all busy taking in the sun and gazing longingly at the people who’ve been dealt a better card in the physical department, we need to remember that looks look good…real good, but with time, they’ll fade and it’s what underneath that really counts.

Unfortunately though, some of us are just ugly inside and out. Some of us have no qualms with letting our arrogance shine through and these people really need to check themselves. Remember this post? I mentioned that companionship was one of the things that people were desperate for and that as humans who are social beings, this is relatively normal. Some of us, nonetheless, have no tact in terms of the methods we use to acquire that companion nonetheless, and there is no better example I could give you than yesterday when I attended my aunt’s birthday party.

The party took place in a bar and some of our party had gone outside. A group of men from a stag party a couple of doors down heard the music and thought that a group of young women standing outside having a drink was an open invitation; they soon invited themselves inside and when they saw a second group of women – these ones dancing - they couldn’t help but give us some ‘company’. Now, I’ll admit it. I’ve become a bit of a snob over the years. I don’t go to bars and clubs to get jiggy with men; I’ll go for my friends, for the music and the party atmosphere. I don’t really like talking to strangers and I certainly don’t like being touched by them. I find it very difficult to let my hair down when I can feel someone gawking at me and I can’t help it – I’m blessed; I have lumps and bumps in all the right places.

When the gatecrashers came, I wanted nothing more than to disappear, but it was difficult because I didn’t want to leave my mum on her own. (You know us women; we stick together). I will respond to questions but I can become very cold, I’ll make my excuses and then make a swift exit. Fortunately, they didn’t stay long, but it is this kind of blatant disregard that I do not like.

I saw this image of a friend’s facebook page:

Therefore, I’d like to say that just because a group of women are having a dance, does not mean they wish to have their space invaded. If a woman is alone waiting for a bus, does not mean she wants to talk to you. And even after you talk to her and she says “I have a boyfriend”, take the hint. She either genuinely has a boyfriend or she just isn’t interested and no, it does not mean she wouldn’t mind being your friend.

And ladies. Don’t think you’re off the hook either. Chasing a man who doesn’t want to be chased is not cute. He might take it as a compliment and toot his own horn with his friends, but that is about it. You will not wear him down. He has already made up his mind. And I don’t say this in judgement either because I have been there too.

So to everyone this summer, try not to lose your tongue as you salivate over all that potential. And try not to lose your mind either because intense heat can certainly play tricks on you.

The ESL Job Search Really Begins - Interview with ECC

Degree. Check.

CertTESOL. Check.

Money saved. Check.

Sheer desire to teach overseas and get get the hell out of the UK. Double check.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I attended my first English Language Teacher interview outside of the JET Programme.  

ECC are quite a well-known company both inside Japan and amongst the ESL community. In terms of negative press, there is very little on the internet and their benefits package, teaching schedule, locations...etc, is pretty darn good in my opinion so if you're looking to teach English in Japan,  definitely check them out.

As it's a Japanese company, we were instructed to come in formal dress. I don’t really own a suit, but I do have a blazer and a pair of trousers that happen to be the exact same colour. I also, had a shirt. So fundamentally, I wore a trouser suit – the exact same one I wore for my JET Programme interview…and parts of which I wore to my graduation.

Regurgitation for the win.

Money spent.

Zero.

As I wasn’t banking on London transport into the city, I decided to leave 90 minutes before I was scheduled to be there. I donned make-up, perfume, acquired a “handbag” – albeit, it’s actually more a practical bag that I take to the club sometimes (don’t worry; there were no sparkles) – and made my way down there.

I got there over one hour early.

Keen much?

So I took a walk around the area, bought a bottle of water because it was surprisingly warm that day. I showed a lost woman where a university was – my good deed for the day – and then rounded back to my interview location. I was the first to arrive and literally about thirty seconds after I entered the room, the door opened and more people walked in.

Sixteen of us arrived and the day began.

We spent the first couple of hours undergoing a presentation of the company. I think I made myself known from the beginning without even realising it and I wonder if my enthusiasm to answer questions or put my hand in the air might have annoyed people in the room – including the interview coordinators. It got to a point where one of them even looked at me expectantly for the answer when no one else sprang up to give a response. So yes, I felt like I came off like this:

while everybody else was like this:

Okay...not quite...but you get my drift.

What followed was a grammar test. We had been told that if we failed this test, we would not be able to progress onto the subsequent sections of the interview. A lot of us were bricking it and even though I had brushed up on my grammar a couple of weeks prior, when it was set in front of me, the nerves kicked in.

From what I can remember, a great bulk of the test was about indicating which words or phrases were incorrect in some way. There was a section on inserting the correct word into a sentence. There was a spelling section – I thank my lucky stars that I’d looked up some spelling a couple of days before. (The word “occasion” came up and I’ve spelt that word incorrectly for most of my life so I couldn’t help but smile when it was in there). There was a definitions section. There was a paragraph where we had to identify which word or phrase matched up with which particular term e.g. preposition…etc and right at the end, there was a matching task where we had to match a statement with a teaching method. I tore through the questions that I knew in 30 minutes and then went back and filled in the many blanks that I’d left behind. I then went over any one’s that I was unsure of, made some corrections, moved things around, panicked and spent the last five minutes checking my answers a second time. By the end of the test, I didn’t know what to think, but it was reassuring to know that I wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what “obloquy” meant.

We broke for lunch and I went to one of the branches of my place of work to get a soup. As I already work for them, I was entitled to a discount – but I didn’t have my ID card so no discount for me.

Bastards.

We came back and almost immediately, we were cut down.

Sixteen became ten.

Initially, I sat myself at a table with two guys. I looked down and the middle button of my shirt had come undone exposing the pretty blue bra underneath. I look back and think to myself – no wonder those boys looked incredibly uncomfortable.

Irrespective however, one of those guys wasn’t supposed to be there so we became nine. And then we were split into different groups and asked to generate a teaching demo of which we would each have three minutes to demonstrate.

I virtually improvised my insert and was told that my facial expressions were good.

I hadn’t even realised that I was making facial expressions.

There was feedback after every group and then we were cut again.

Nine became five.

This was the section of the day that I hadn’t prepared for in the slightest as I was too panicked about the grammar test more than anything else. So I was a little concerned. My interviewer asked me the standard “why us?” question and then decided to challenge me with questions pertaining to why I’d left it so long to apply for teaching work overseas considering that I’d done my CertTESOL back in September 2012. I answered that money was an issue and then he further countered it by implying that I could have gone somewhere else for much cheaper had I wanted. I answered that Japan had always been option number one.

I was asked about preferences of location and flexibility and whether I’d want to go back into psychology considering that it was my degree. I think I waffled a bit at this point and I look back and realise that I said things that maybe I shouldn’t have.

I didn’t get the job. I was devastated for the entire weekend as I realise that I wanted it pretty badly…even moreso than JET. I keep thinking to myself that maybe they thought I was false or maybe it was just highly competitive. My group was the last group to be interviewed in London and then the interviewers went on to Dublin as well. Maybe there were some really good specimens or maybe spaces were limited. Or maybe I just sucked and came off all wrong.

My advice to all the prospective teachers out there. Be yourself. Or at least, be the person you’d want to be in a classroom. I probably wasn’t perfect but I don’t think I could have done anymore…except maybe prepare a bit more for that one on one interview...or bought an actual suit.

Ultimately, nonetheless, I’ve picked myself up again. I’m still determined to find work overseas. I’ve actually expanded my search from Japan now so we’ll see what happens there. Who knows? Maybe I might end up in Hong Kong…or the Phillipines…or South America instead.

The world is my oyster, right?

Let’s Talk Stress ~ Dealing With Drama

There are times in life when you feel like this:

When you feel like the world and all its baggage is riding on your shoulders. And you think to yourself. Why me? It was all going so so very well. Why did the grief chose me?

Some of us are born optimists however – and even though you people are exceedingly rare in today’s world, you are the people that greet misfortune with smile. You are the people that look on the bright side and believe that a silver lining is coming for you. You are the people who I’d very much like to tear a limb off of.

Ah hem...

In all seriousness though, I salute you. I envy you, but I salute you because I am your polar opposite as I’m sure a lot of people are. I don’t particularly enjoy stressful situations and I am the first person to rip my hair out of my head when things go horribly wrong – sometimes I’ll blow a casket when things go just somewhat wrong. But as with most situations in my life that involve negatives, after twenty-four hours of brooding (sometimes even days depending on the scope of the problem), I find a way to bounce back. And you should too so here’s a little advice to you.

Take a load off…literally!

DO NOT keep the issue bottled up no matter how detrimental. Find someone and get it off your chest. People that feel like they can’t talk to family or friends have been known to take their problems to complete strangers. The internet is a phenomenal place. No one knows you really and there are forums and chat sites of all calibres (and I mean ALL unfortunately). Talk to someone. They might be able to help you put things into perspective and even if they cannot provide you with a solution – or even if you don’t want a solution – you will feel much better in having gotten it off your chest.

 Don’t be rash!

I don’t know about you, but at times I have a really bad habit of taking drastic action…or contemplating taking drastic action. I also know a multiplex of people who act too quickly without giving things much thought. They will say the first thing that pops into their head when met with a stressful or hostile situation and will more often, than not, regret it later. Give yourself a moment to actually digest what has happened. Offload – as I mentioned earlier. Scream bloody murder – just don’t act on it. Or try my next suggestion.

Find an outlet!

It’s happened. And frankly, as much as you wish it didn’t – the situation has arisen and you can’t take it back. So you need to find a way to deal with it. One of the ways that I deal with stressful or difficult situations is to write my thoughts down. If you’ve read this post of mine, you’ll know that I feel like I haven’t the closest relationship I could have with my family and at one particular instance I wrote a rather emotional letter to a cousin of mine which I never sent. When I revisited it for the first time, all those waves of emotion came flooding back, but recently upon finding it again, I found that I was able to delete it possibly meaning that I’ve managed to deal with it. If writing’s not your thing, find another outlet. Maybe something a little physical. I’ve heard boxing is a great way to relieve stress for both men and women. Or maybe take up something that helps you to relax. Yoga? Meditation? Pottery? Whatever you fancy – so long as it’s good for your overall well-being.

They’ve got feelings too!

So you decided to talk to somebody? But their words aren’t helping and you’re starting to find every little thing they do annoying. And then you can’t take them anymore and you bite their head off. I’ve had my head chopped off many times and I’ve probably done some chopping of my own as well, but let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. Did they put you in that situation? Most cases are forgiveable but it still doesn’t give you the excuse to take out all your frustrations on the people nearest to you – and that goes for people physically near you as well. I’m sure that woman on the train didn’t mean to nudge passed you like that so cut her some slack.

Sleep!

As long as I can remember, whenever I’ve been seriously upset about something, I’ve simply gone to sleep. It could be broad daylight outside, but I would rather drift off into the land of nod rather than work myself into a blubbering frenzy. Considering that we need sleep to recharge our batteries as well as to work through all the animation we’ve undergone in the day, sleep is a great way to not only consciously get away from the issue momentarily, but to also, give your unconscious state time to work through the issue and potentially devise solutions to the issue and speaking of solutions…

Make a list!

There is almost always a way out of a difficult situation so why not make a list of possible solutions. Depending on the extent of the issue, even a little research wouldn’t go amiss. You’ll be pleasantly surprised what you might find. However, just be certain that whatever research you come up with is legitimate, viable and more importantly legal as there is a whole host of hogwash out there. Once you’ve got some ideas however, I would start with the most practical and leave the last resorts to just that.

Time is a Healer.

I cannot remember for the life of me who gave me this piece of advice, but it has served me well in a variety of situations. And truer words have honestly never been spoken. When a negative circumstance is fresh, it’s all you can think about and every time you think about it, it makes you feel even worse, but as the days go by, it’ll get easier to put things into perspective and to make sense of it all. Eventually, a solution will find you and the situation will finally become nothing more than a distant memory. Heck, you might even laugh about it.

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So chin up because I promise that even though it may feel like your world has come crashing down. It definitely isn’t the be all and end all. How you deal with it and how you come out of it will ultimately, however, depend on you.