The Japan Files ~ International Parties

I believe it's been said many times before but for the foreigner living in Japan, when attempting to make friends, it can go one of two ways. You're either inundated with popularity - girls and guys desperately clawing at you in order to bask in your presence because of that foreigner magic. Or you're met with the stone-cold reality that making genuine friendships in Japan is harder than it should be; maybe even that the natives are so intimidated by your "other-worldliness" that they flee at the mere sight of you. And sometimes there's a happy medium, but the longer I live here - and it hasn't been long mind you - the more I'm starting to realise that as with anywhere else in the world, it's really important to choose your friends. And choose them well.

The amount of friends I have in Japan is okay for me. I was never a social butterfly but obviously, I'd taken a giant leap by moving halfway across the country, which meant I had to start the process of building relationships all over again. So I turned to the sanctity that was the internet and started researching, and I turned to my coworkers who obviously knew more about my new city than I did. As a result, I was swiftly invited to a relatively common event for foreigners in Japan known as the international party.

The clue is in the name really but in Japan, these types of parties are designed to bring foreigners and Japanese people together to exchange culture, life and language. Sounds innocent enough. I recall a similar event at my university back home where all the international students were invited to such an event where they could meet and mingle with other international students so as not to feel entirely isolated in their new world. In Japan however, it's very easy to find yourself in familiar territory. We foreigners have found ways of finding each other and building support networks, whether it's through work or other means. We always find each other. But despite the 1000 to 1 ratio of Japanese people to foreigners living in Japan, there is still a little bit of a divide. And as a result, the international party and various other international or global events were born.

Now, I've not been to many of these parties but I do feel that they usually go one of two ways...

The English Opportunity Spectrum

Japan's first language is Japanese, I'm sure you're aware, but in order to take itself out of this Japanese mentality, over the last couple of decades or so, there has been a push for people to learn English in hopes that Japan - being so closed off from the rest of the world for so many years - might become a little bit more global. (And now, especially with The 2020 Olympics dawning, the necessity for English is probably going through the roof). But with English-speaking foreigners scarce in number, there is often very little opportunity to use English. So when there's an international party, it's not uncommon for those practising English to flock in large numbers. They're often breeding grounds for students of English in particular, looking to test their abilities. It has been my experience that a genuine interest in the person is often misplaced and that people talk for the sake of talking in English as oppose to having a conversation and just taking the time to get to know someone new. It often feels a little bit disingenuous.

The Undercover Dating Spectrum

It is no secret that foreign men are popular amongst the women in Japan. I have come across various women who are either curious, interested or hell-bent on dating a foreigner. Stories pollute the internet. And even though among the international parties, I've been to, there has been a mixed crowd, it isn't uncommon to find a lot more women in attendance. I do not mind my own company - on occasion, I crave it - but I have actually felt forgotten during one said event where I was actually the only foreign woman and I bore witness to my male counterparts cavorting with members of the opposite sex in a manner that I could only really describe as international speed dating. Heck, some international events actually promote themselves as such events, some even reduce the price for foreigners and women to gauge more interest. It is no secret that Japan wants to know its foreign residence but I'm presuming there are those that would rather get to know each other on a more intimate level. But, again, I suspect it's inevitable if your throw men and women together in a room (and especially with alcohol lighting the flames as well).


That said, I'm not trying to dissuade people from attending these events. If I had to pick a relatively safe place to meet people and make friends, I would suggest attending one of these. It's reduces the sleaze factor that is commonly found at clubs and bars, but also almost entirely eradicates the anonymity and uncertainty that people come across when using the internet to form relationships. International parties are also time-restricted so even if there is alcohol involved, over-drinking (and general stupidity as a result) at the party establishment is unlikely.

Recently, I've actually found an international party that I really enjoy going to but this is because in my opinion, it actually fits the definition of an international event. I walked in during my first time and came across not only Japanese people, but people from all over the world, all sharing a common language, but coming from different walks of life. (There were still aspect of The English Opportunity Spectrum lurking about but I suppose I can't expect anything less from an English school). I actually ended up forming friendships at that event and since then, I've returned a couple more times and fully intend to do so in the future.

As a result, I think as with anything, it's all about trial and error. It's important to find something that suits you and I think as I get older and deeper into my experience of living and working overseas, I'm looking at the important things. As I might have mentioned before, I came to Japan alone and I knew how important a support network was. At my previous company however, I pretty much walked into a really big one. As I am now, my current company is much smaller and even though they are like a second family, I'm aware that they each have their own families and responsibilities that must come first and consequently, they cannot always be a crutch for me.

Unfortunately, I cannot speak much for the countryside but I do know that the bigger the city, the more the variety. And this not only goes for people and international parties obviously, but general activities and opportunities as well. So if I had to give someone advice, I would definitely say put yourself out there. But a with any social event, have your wits about you. Japan is a wonderful place, but it's still important to be at least a little bit savvy.

Black Hair ~ Abroad and Beyond

If you’re unfamiliar with the black community then you may not be aware that our hair is a big deal for us. We’ve spent centuries trying to make-do with, adapt and find ways of maintaining our hair, especially within communities that may not necessarily produce the commodities and methods we might have needed to make this easier. Nevertheless, there is big business in black hair. Hair products and hair maintenance can get really expensive but black folk aside, all women the world over wear their hair like they wear they clothes – in a way that represents, defines and makes them feel beautiful.

For me, this particular aspect of my life has been a struggle. I never really got into hair. Granted, I had a mother who liked me to look presentable and who took care of that during the earlier years of my life. But as I got older, I became experimental and tried different styles, whether just to fit in or adorn what I thought was acceptable at the time. What all these years, however, had in common was that someone else was doing my hair. And as a result, it wasn’t until recently, upon going abroad, that I became forced to learn how to maintain it myself.

During my university years, I got very close with a girl who introduced me to a new way of looking at hair and it made me re-evaluate all of the things I’d put myself through with regards to it. I’d been to hairdressers in the past who would comb my hair so violently that it made me want to cry. I remember a Jamaican woman saying to me that you had to experience pain to make your hair pretty. I recall walking into a hair salon and requesting them to texturise my hair, only to feel so intimidated that I allowed them to convince me to hot comb it instead. The hairdresser burnt my scalp continuously but I was too afraid to say anything. I remember sitting down for an entire day straight while two women plaited my hair with extensions. The salon was full of kids and on occasion, they would stop to openly have casual discussions with friends and boyfriends all the while wasting my time and money.

Since those days, I have developed a prejudice for black hair salons and up until recently hadn’t set foot in one for over six years. I developed the opinion that black hair salons and the like sucked at customer service and had absolutely no business sense. How could they possibly when they’d set up shop next to each other only to close down, relocate or vanish completely wondering why they weren’t bringing in enough money to keep themselves afloat.

When I’d made my decision to go to Japan, I had relaxed hair but I made the choice to go natural knowing that I would most likely have to learn to take care of my hair myself. As Japan is over 97% Japanese, it would be a difficult to find someone to take care of my hair and I also didn’t really want any strangers in my hair either - there were very few people I trusted not to rip out my hair. Within my first year of flying solo, I did pretty well. I wasn’t great at taking care of my hair – even now I’m not. I wasn’t’ versatile with my hairstyles but my hair grew; it wasn’t falling out of my head. But evidently, as with everybody, I got that itch. I missed having my hair cornrowed and even though I can cornrow, I haven’t really learnt how to do it in my own hair so I bit the bullet and sought out someone else.

The internet pretty much connected me immediately to many resources. Despite the relatively small black community in Japan, we are about and it wasn’t long before I found a hairdresser. I booked a month in advance and thought, perhaps a little naively, that the garbage that I was used to dealing with back home would be different in Japan.

Needless to say, I travelled many miles to get to this hairdresser and phoned on the morning to ask for directions to the establishment (I was only around the corner at the time, and I was also on time) only to be told that they had no record of me on their books. I was livid. In the end, I had to come back at a later time than I had initially scheduled to get my hair done as the salon owner had to make a few phone calls. My hair was done well but when I did eventually come to take it out, I also ended up pulling out pieces of my own hair as well so needless to say, I will not be going back.

Fast forward to now and I get that itch again – you think I would learn - but I made it a rule not to put up with rubbish. I contact a woman who keeps posting advertisements all over the internet. She assures me that she’ll get back to me the following day and to this day, I’m still waiting for her to get back to me. Now it may seem like a small issue – I could have merely contacted her myself – but I’ve started to realise that promoting a service, sort of makes you a business person. And in business, it’s really important to do as you say you will. In Japan, when a Japanese company says they’ll call you back, they call you back. In fact, any decent organisation would do the same. That simple mistake says to me that this woman is unreliable so I will not be contacting her again either.

Even in Japan, the black hairdressers or hair doers here are not doing much to deter my preconceptions of them. I’m not sure why I thought another country would make things different but I do believe in giving chances. That said, I think ultimately, if I’m to avoid disappointment, I should probably simply learn how to cornrow my hair myself. In fact, to any black woman, looking to live abroad, while it is nice to have someone else take care of your hair for you, this would be my advice. Learn to do your hair yourself. Certainly, it’s time consuming but it’ll cost you less overall, you’ll avoid disappointment and feel a great sense of reward knowing that you can put together your own hair on your own.

End of an Era ~ Tribute to Hiroshima

Sad times.

For in a matter of days, I will be jumping ship and moving to a new city in a new prefecture, thousands of miles away. But while I have made it known that I would be moving to Hiroshima, I realise that I haven’t really taken to time out to talk about the city in itself. Famously, it’s known as one of the places where the Americans dropped their bomb but in the year that I have been here (and that year has flown by) I have come to enjoy and cherish Hiroshima as my home. It has become more than just a piece of Japanese history but a piece of mine as well. So today I am going to toast Hiroshima in all its greatness.

 Fuku-Chan

I arrived in Hiroshima at night and spent the rest of it in a hotel but the following day as I began the process of moving into my apartment, the very first restaurant I was introduced to was this little number. Hiroshima is famous for okonomiyaki or its original style of Japanese pancakes which, unlike others, are made with yakisoba noodles. I immediately fell in love with this style of okonomiyaki and would often bring visiting friends and guests to this restaurant at every opportunity. I visited other okonomiyaki restaurants but none could compare to the taste that was Fuku Chan. It’s also conveniently located just outside Hiroshima station and often gets busy. I would highly recommend this restaurant. They boast an English menu and their okonomiyaki with cheese is simply to die for.

Peace Memorial Park

This is probably one of the most famous areas within Hiroshima city. Within walking distance is the equally famous Atomic Bomb Dome. One of the very few buildings to partially survive the bomb all those years ago. The park itself is stunning, littered with various artefacts and tributes to that fateful day. It is also the location of the Peace Memorial Museum which I would both highly recommend and also warn that you should brace yourself. I went in expecting to be a tourist, snap a few photos and what have you. I came out feeling extremely heavy hearted. I actually went in a second time, discovered some new stuff and felt equally as heavy-hearted as the first time. I will not be going in there again but it’s definitely something I would say everyone should see at least once.

Hondori Street

This shopping haven is the busiest and longest shopping strip in Hiroshima city. As I lived within easy commute, every once in a while I would pop to Hondori for my shopping needs. Obviously, shopping for clothing in Japan is relatively difficult for me but Hondori housed a few known brands such as H&M and Uni Qlo so I’d find myself frequently there. It also has quite a few restaurants and other forms of entertainment. It was also here where I got my iPhone and where I went to my first family restaurant, hilarious at the time, known as, Bikkuri Donkey (Surprise Donkey). Nearby is the famous meet-up spot known as Alice Garden and a relatively large Don Quijote – one of the only places where I would walk in with the intention of only buying one item, and end up coming out with a bag full of stuff. It gets insanely busy on weekends – obviously – so I preferred going there in the week.

Round One

I discovered this place a little late but Round One is a giant arcade conveniently located in the vicinity of Hondori street. It possesses eleven floors of gaming goodness. UFO catchers, pachinko slots and other general arcade games litter the first couple of floors. Mario anyone? Upper levels boast darts (which I’ve come to really enjoy), billiards, table tennis, golf and even a batting hut. Everything else is bowling and karaoke so if you fancy a fun night out – Round One closes ridiculously late – I would highly recommend this place. I had actually intended to become a member but circumstances being what they are, I held off. If I find another one however, you can bet I’m gonna be signing up.

Aeon Mall

This giant mall was located about twenty minutes walk from my house and like Hondori, has many shops and other forms of entertainment. The name was recently changed to Aeon Mall but veterans know it, nostalgically, as Diamond City. When I first went to the supermarket here, I spent over three hours inside, finding my way around and figuring out which products were what. Later, I would buy my heater, fan and a couple other small appliances here. Once, I bought a month’s worth of shopping and carried all eight bags and my rucksack back home. I’m sure it must have looked a little strange me carrying all those bags and believe me, it’s not something I will ever attempt again. I am quite strong but even my body has its limits. On other occasions, I would meet friends for meals, shop or watch movies. I was very fortunate that this place was so nearby.

Fitting that I snapped this
at night considering that
I both arrived in Hiroshima
and left it at this time of the
day.

Hiroshima Station

Why would I consider Hiroshima station worth a mention? Well, if there was always a place I was passing through, it was Hiroshima station. Whether I was travelling to work or meeting up with friends, Hiroshima station was the place. I also became a big fan of the Starbucks here and would frequent it after I had my Japanese classes in the afternoon. Not all the staff were as friendly as those in the afternoon but they alone made me a loyal customer. The only thing that annoyed me about Hiroshima station was the constant construction works. It made travelling from one side of the station to the other take five minutes longer than it should have. Besides this, Hiroshima station was something of a home base for me. I have a lot of memories here. 

Hiroshima City International Center

In addition to the Hiroshima International Center (HiC) that’s located in the Hondori area, both institutes boast one thing in common – free Japanese lessons. Anywhere in the world, English is big business and you’d be hard pressed to find free English lessons in the UK unless you know where to look but in Japan, for the clueless foreigner, Japanese study is encouraged. I attended lessons for a year and learnt a lot from the volunteers that taught here. Though HiC also boasts free lessons and one on one sessions but I found the City Center a lot more fruitful overall and that’s why for me, it’s worthy of a mention

Nagarekawa

Generally considered a bit of a bad area by the locals, Nagarekawa is Hiroshima’s evening district. People generally come here to party. This area is littered with Host and Hostess clubs, bars, restaurants, and after a certain time, many drunk people. I generally came here to go to the very few foreigner heavy night clubs and/or bars. There is also an American style hole in the wall known as New York New York where I got to eat a chilly cheese dog for the first time (at around four ‘o clock in the morning). I’m not sure how genuine of a replica it was in comparison to the US, but it was damn good. So yes, if you are a party animal, Nagarekawa is the place.

Poplar

Poplar is a conbini chain and while I prefer Seven Eleven because the food and what have you is generally better, there was one particular branch of Poplar that held a place in my heart. Located about two minutes from my front door, I would often pop here in the evening, after work or if I fancied something a little bit sweet (or savoury). The customer service at this particular Poplar was always on point. The guys working here weren’t particularly chatty with me but I liked that they didn’t treat me any differently to anyone else. They were always polite to me. Even that time when I came in out of the rain asking for an umbrella (kasa) and made the mistake of saying “keys” (kaigi) instead. As a result, I was always in there so thanks for the service boys. Maybe I’ll be back some day.

~

So, I’m sure some of this seems a little strange, but these were the highlights from my time in Hiroshima. These places will forever stand out for the moments and the memories I made here. Thus, for anyone looking to teach abroad in Japan, I say – forget Tokyo. Sure, it’s the most happening place in Japan. You’ll never be bored there as you’re spoilt for choice but you’ll certainly be out of pocket because Tokyo is not cheap. Hiroshima city is a fairly big city in itself boasting over a million people. But I saved a helova lot of money here simply because the standard of living is cheaper – and this includes the occasion trip to other prefectures, and frequent weekends out with friends. It’s also a very chill lifestyle. I only really saw it at its busiest during a baseball game (I never got to go to one unfortunately) and during a national holiday. Nevertheless, it made me appreciate its relaxed nature compared to the craziness of Tokyo – and heck, even London. People are friendly – not everybody but such is life; you’ll come across many a tourist and many an opportunity.

Hiroshima was epic. But now I guess it’s time for me to begin the next adventure.

Moving House ~ The First

Well, I’ve finally done it. It took hours of scouting the internet, sending in CVs and only six interviews, but I finally managed to find a new job. The perks include smaller classes, a British boss and the opportunity to teach adults. 

The con – it’s all the way in Odawara, Kanagawa so I’ve had to begin the process of relocating.

Now it’s no secret to foreigners and Japanese people alike that moving house here is no walk in the park. Japan is a relatively nice and honest place to live but one of the hardest things to do here is to actually relocate. There are so many hoops to jump through and con artists out there keen to cheat you out of your money, so you have to have your wits about you. It’s easy to get swindled so it’s best to clue yourself in.

~

Typically, in order to move house, you are generally expected to pay the following things:

First month’s rent. This is a given.

Security deposit. Also a given. And it’s refundable at the end of contract.

Agency commission. Understandable. However, sometimes an agency fee can also equate to a month’s rent.

Key money. This is basically gift money for the landlord and is always non-refundable. Say goodbye to another month’s rent.

Fire insurance. You know – in case you set the house on fire. I would have thought this was covered by the security deposit but nope.

Maintenance. This is usually added on to your monthly rent. It’s usually only a couple thousand yen but it mounts every month. For the Brits out there, I guess this could be equated to council tax. For everyone else, maybe building maintenance?

Guarantor. In the case that you can’t find a suitable guarantor for your apartment – the person who fits the bill if you can’t – the estate agent might suggest a third party organisation to be a guarantor for you. And of course, they need to be paid.

Lock exchange. You know – to change the locks. I don’t really see the point of this one.

Renewal. So moving into an apartment is one thing but if you want to continue living there, sometimes you’re required to pay a renewal fee too. Another month’s rent.

Cleaning. And if you do decide to move out, don’t think you’re getting out too easily either. Some places will charge an extortionate cleaning fee so they can make it fresh and nice for the next tenant.

~

Now obviously, this is the worst case scenario and I’m sure there have been circumstances where some people haven’t had to pay all of the above but sometimes, they have to. So be prepared to part with a lot of money.

I of course, went the foreigner route at first and searched online via the infamous Gaijinpot website but Odawara is a smaller city and Gaijinpot only really possesses decent housing in and around the Tokyo area. The only houses they had for Odawara were, what is referred to as a 1K. What this kind of apartment entails is one big room with bathroom and tiny kitchenette. Having spent my first year in exactly that, I wanted something bigger so in the end, I went the Japanese route. I found a website called AtHome, perused some houses and found one that I was interested in.

If I’m honest, I didn’t actually do the leg work. I’m based in Hiroshima and Kanagawa is far so my new boss and his wife decided to check the house out for me. The house was indeed lovely. It was a 2DK on the ground floor with a balcony – or two roomed apartment with kitchen and bathroom area. On the website, it had assured me that there was no key money or deposit to be included and the price was reasonable. I had also been warned to expect a headache. And headache we got.

When it came to discussing the price, the “estate agent” began rattling off a whole bunch of different things. It turned out that there was not only a deposit (not what the website had said) but there was a deposit to reserve it as well (of which would be refundable if I decided not to take the house). There was maintenance (which I expected), a fire deposit (of which I hadn’t expected), and a ridiculously pricey cleaning fee. According to my new boss, it actually took them a while to get the total figure out of the estate agent but it was ridiculous and it made them absolutely livid.

I wasn’t there in person so I couldn’t feel the aggravation per se, but I know that it took a lot of back and forth negotiations and some getting angry to sort it all out. In the end, we’d found out that the guy from AtHome was simply a middle man between us and the actual estate agent. When they had spoken to the real guy in charge, it had turned out that the price to “reserve” the house had been a lie. It was actually free to reserve and the total price to pay was dropped to something more reasonable. The cleaning fee was still ridiculous however and the deposit was still present despite the website saying something else.

Fortunately however, it really is who you know. One of my boss’ students happened to be in real estate and had a house for rent. They went to check that place out. It was also a 2DK and the guy had offered to throw in a bike and a stove as a gift. The house was also lovely and unlike the previous one was on the second floor – which I actually prefer. Discussions for the price were negotiated, guarantor was sorted and I will sign for that house on at the end of the week.

Headache terminated.

Since then, I checked back on the AtHome website, and the apartment I had been looking at has now vanished. It turned out they were going to renovate it and I wouldn’t have been able to move in until December which is too late for me. I personally think this was just a cop out – a way for them not have to deal with us anymore – but personally, I think I got the better deal.

I’ve also spoken to a number of people who have moved house in Japan. All mention having problems or spending more money than they had to. One guy mentioned being told he had to pay for something called a Drain Outlet fee by which they sterilise the drain outlet. According to him however – having worked in real estate himself – the price they charge and the job that’s done do not add up so he refused to pay that and instead had them clean the air conditioner to which they obliged. It makes me consider how important some of these fees really are if some estate agents are happy to bend the rules.

~

In preparation for the signing, I’ve been told I’ll need to following things:

Residence card. All foreigners who intend to live, work and study in Japan are issued a residence card. By law, we must carry it with us at all times.

Passport. A given.

Health insurance card. I’m not sure why this is needed – especially because I’ve never used mine.

Bank book. A given.

Inkan. This is a stamp with my surname in katakana printed on it. In the UK, we sign for things. In Japan, if you have one, you use an inkan.

Juminhyou. Apparently this is residence record attained from the Ward Office where I registered my current address. I’ve been told it doesn’t take long to obtain it but I’m expecting hurdles because of my limited Japanese ability.

Payment. Obviously.

~

As I now almost have an apartment to move into, I’ve also looked into removal arrangements. It was suggest to me to use Kuroneko to send my stuff to my new address as I haven’t much stuff. There was only one person who could speak English in the whole of my area so after a week of not receiving an email, I contacted them via phone and managed to get things underway. So for the most part, I’m almost ready to go. I have some loose ends to tie up in Hiroshima with my current place of residence and my company of course, but I’m hoping everything will go smoothly. I don’t think I can take another headache.

Wish me luck. 

Interview Experience ~ The First

So this might come as news to some of you, but I’ve decided to jump ship and look for work with another company. I’ve been scouting the interweb searching for new opportunities. I’d had a few bites, a couple of Skype interviews but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for my very first face to face interview in Japan. Because if I have ever experienced culture shock since being here, this is the very first time that I’ve been truly aware of it.

I interviewed for a position with a company called Berlitz. They are well-known in English teaching circles and apparently there was a branch in the Fukuyama city. After three weeks of back and forth emails (and a week waiting for a response), an interview was confirmed and I made all the necessary preparations. Because I couldn’t attend an interview at the scheduled time, I asked if I could interview earlier due to work commitments. They obliged so I was grateful.

Taking the Shinkansen would have gotten me to Fukuyama in twenty minutes but it’s also super expensive so I opted to take a local train instead. This was expected to take just under two hours so I bit the bullet, woke up seriously early, put together a moderately formal outfit and made my journey. I arrived there over an hour early and decided to find the location. The school was not what I was expecting. It was a rather old-looking structure on the first floor and there was no Berlitz logo in sight. I was feeling extremely sleep deprived so I sought to find a coffee shop but alas, at 9:30am in the morning, not a one was open.

Maybe this was a sign of things to come.

I opted for some water instead, downed about half the bottle and then decided to do the Japanese thing and arrive a little bit early. I walked up the steps and came face to face with about seven Japanese men sitting in an office. They gawked at me in shock and I suddenly felt extremely small despite the fact that I towered over most of them. I bid them “hello” and then my interviewer exited the office and an awkward introduction occurred whereby he confirmed my name and invited me to take off my shoes. What I found strange was that he didn’t even introduce himself.

Just pretend that this guy is Japanese and you've
basically got my interview today.

I was led into a classroom and the interview began. It turned out that Berlitz was opening a new school at the station and that our current interview location was an English cram school. I was asked a bunch of questions to do with my current experience and whether I could handle new ones. More often than not, he would simply make random grunts as I spoke but whether they were in approval or disproval, I don’t know. What I found peculiar however was that he would often repeat the same sorts of questions but in a different way and often asked me about my life in Japan. Whether he was trying to make me feel at ease or it was a simple interview tactic, again, I really couldn’t tell you.

The bomb was dropped however when he implied that they were really looking to fulfil the remaining part-time position as all the full-time ones had been taken. I can’t say my heart sank but in order to sustain my life in Japan, I know that I require something full-time. I expected him to terminate my interview right there and then but shortly afterwards, he stated that it was time for me to demo a lesson.

Now in the email he sent me, I had been given information about the “students” in my demo. I was to demo for two students, one of pre-intermediate level and one of upper-intermediate level. I had expected that my interviewer, plus another member of the Berlitz team would pretend to be students of that level; this was what I’m used to I suppose. Instead of two, however, I actually got three native Japanese students and this time, my heart did sink as I’d only prepared content for two students.

I started off okay. I introduced my vocabulary but as I moved in the meat of demo, I forgot to teach some of my content. I had also created worksheets but as I instigated the final task, I realised that even these were poorly structured. The “students” laughed about it and so did I, but I truthfully was dying inside. I finished the task and then wasn’t sure what to do until one of the “students” stepped outside the room and called the interviewer back in. As soon as he appeared, he muttered a rather informal “that’s it” and I said goodbye to the “students”.

Earlier, my interviewer had made a joke about covering my travel expenses. When he returned again, he handed an envelope with 5000 yen in it. I was so shocked that I’m not sure if I accepted it correctly (you’re supposed to accept with both hands in Japan) and shortly afterwards, I dropped the materials I’d used in the demo lesson all over the floor. I felt so clumsy and wanted to escape as quickly as possible until I was told that one of my “students” would drop me to the station. Again, I was shocked because these sorts of things do not happen in the UK. We are never reimbursed travel expenses and nobody offers to drive an interview candidate to the station. What’s more, the station was only a ten minute walk away also, so I found this extremely particular.

It was only after getting into yet another stranger’s car that I realised that this “third student” had probably been sent there to observe me as I demoed my lesson. I just hadn’t been told this and I really wish I had, because then I could have focused on the other two. I tried to instigate a conversation in the car and then fell silent until he started talking to me again so I spoke to him a bit more freely. He took me to the station as planned. I thanked him, we bowed in farewell and I couldn’t have scurried away into that station fast enough.

Upon reflection, I think even before having the interview, I knew I didn’t want the job as much. What I wanted however was the interview experience as it had been well over a year since I’d interviewed last. But I didn’t realise that I would actually be walking into a purely Japanese environment; I was expecting to see one or two foreigners walking around. As a result, I probably would have done a lot more research but I’m now starting to realise that the email address I’d be corresponding with should have been a dead giveaway. It had been created through Yahoo Mail.

The people in question were pleasant. They didn’t do anything bad to me but I felt a little shaken after the experience - epic culture shock, I believe. I highly doubt any of the men in that facility had met a foreigner like me before and I’d never been in an environment quite like that either. So as soon as I got on the train, I contacted people and found out that apparently, it’s not uncommon for companies to reimburse travel expenses to interview candidates here. It didn’t make me feel any better; I felt really weird accepting the money but I know that it isn’t custom in Japan to turn away kindness.

I was told I would be contacted with the result but I’d be surprised if they offered me the position. Irrespective, as I said, I don’t think I want the position as much and I especially don’t want a part time role. It was certainly an experience however. Next time, hopefully, I’ll be more prepared…and less sleep-deprived.

Date Experience ~ The First

It is common knowledge that when it comes to dating and romance in Japan for foreign (especially non-Asian) women, we have it harder. While Japanese women seem to fawn over our male counterparts, Japanese men are notoriously shy and some are even intimidated by us so the likelihood of being approached is a lot slimmer. We usually have to do the leg work. That said however, I actually was approached and ended up on an unlikely date of sorts so it isn’t entirely impossible.

If I’m honest, I didn’t actually realise it was a date at first. Or maybe it was just that I didn’t want to believe it but I should have known really. I met the guy in a club and he made it extremely clear that he fancied me. I remember finding him annoying at first because I don’t usually like meeting people in clubs. So his behaviour – to me – was like some sort of night-predator stalking its prey. Nevertheless, his antics soon shifted from annoying to hilarious, and by the end of the evening, I had given him my number. He texted me the following morning and we instigated a back and forth regime for three weeks before we met again – although I had stated that I just wanted to be friends.

Clearly, this was not the case for him however.

He picked me up in his car.

Yeah, I know. I got into a car with a stranger. But the journey we were going to make was not only going to take a couple of hours but would have racked up some serious expenses via public transport. I like saving money so I took a chance and let him drive us.

He actually opened the door for me if I recall and despite the language barrier – his English wasn’t so great and my Japanese was worse – we managed to communicate which was awesome. A friend of his had burnt a bunch of CDs for him as well so we had good conversation flowing and good music for atmosphere. We talked pretty much non-stop all the way to our destination and when we arrived, he insisted on buying me lunch and letting me take pictures.

While on a peer, I dropped my chopsticks and he got me new ones. He also insisted on walking on the side of the pavement closest to the cars; I think this was him being protective as this was constant on the date (and even in the club when another guy tried to move to me mind you). We checked out a shrine; I took more pictures and then we travelled to our second destination. Again, he insisted on paying for me. I tried to race him to the ticket booth but he wasn’t having it. More sight-seeing; more conversation; more jokes. He also showcased his confidence by bidding a couple of old ladies hello as we walked passed and navigating us safely back to his car.

Another drive led us to our third destination; I took more photos. Earlier, we had stopped off at a service station and he’d bought me a drink and at this time I had finished it. So while I took photos, he insisted on trying to find a bin for them.

He then drove me all the way back our meeting spot to which I began to notice how tired he was getting. After all, he’d probably spent the equivalent of four to five hours driving around. He would open the window to pump some cold air into the car in order to wake himself up but then worry about me because I was getting cold. I insisted he open the window though. What was more, a friend actually called him during this time to which he actually announced on the phone that he was on a date which made me tense a little. I mean, after all the buying stuff it should have been pretty obvious but I guess him saying it sort of made it seem more real.

We went to a Starbucks where I finally got to pay for something for him; I bought him a Matcha Latte. I said that I owed him but he said that he owed me for the drink and insisted more than once that he wanted to drive me to my house. I wasn’t comfortable with him knowing where I lived – which is also a bit stupid considering that I had actually gotten into a car with him – and plus, he looked virtually finished for the day. So I said I’d walk and bid him farewell; we parted at the station. He had asked me to message him to let him know I’d gotten home and I did. He responded when he got home and I did as well and then that was us for the evening.

As I sit here now though, I realise that I actually had a really good time but had failed to mention this in my message to him which might be why he virtually disappeared off the face of the earth. We even managed to talk about the differences between Japanese and English including things like intonation which I thought would be difficult to talk about considering the barrier. In all honesty, I think we surprised ourselves – or at least I was pleasantly surprised.

After the date however, I remember thinking to myself “what the hell have I done?” It was never my intention to become romantically involved with anyone out here – in fact, I had resigned myself to being single for my duration here; and yet, here I’d been…on a date. I felt bad because I felt like I’d led him on. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the attention but I was uncertain of him. I'm a tall woman and even taller by Japanese standards and he was a lot shorter than me (yes, even I am a little shallow). I also couldn’t escape the notion that all he was really looking for was a “good time” and that he was more than happy to "pay for it" (he could certainly afford it). The thing is, while it's a lovely thing when someone is willing to pay for you, I'm not used to being as spoiled as I was, and it makes me feel uncomfortable (and indebted). 

But I look back on it now and realise that besides these two concerns, there was nothing really wrong with him. He was polite to me; he had good taste in music; he was established (he was an architect) and above all, he seemed highly secure and confident – whereas I’m very used to attracting men who either lack confidence or have insecurities.

I’m still unsure of starting a relationship here as while I’m young, it won’t be long before I’m thirty and need to start thinking about other areas of my future more deeply. But I would have definitely liked to keep in touch with this one. Guess it just wasn’t meant to be…

The Japan Files ~ Kid Edition

Look at them.

Adorable aren’t they?

Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, children are full of life. They make you laugh; they make you cry; they make you grin from ear to ear with their incredible antics, and we as the adults just can’t help cooing at them. And Japanese children are no different. Some of them are adorable; shy little critters that make your heart melt. And some of them are genki grapplers, full of energy and bursting at the seams. But there are certain things about children over here that I’ve noticed that are a little bit worrisome. And even though my Japanese is still below par, I’ve started to pick up on things that once again, make me raise my eyebrows.

It’s been noted over many years that children seem to have an uncanny obsession with genitalia here. They feel quite comfortable talking about it and making jokes about it while their adult counterparts completely shy away from it (unless they’re half cut, of course). I’ve heard a three-year-old girl giggling about “cold boobs” and six to seven-year-olds having a “penis” discussion. They chortle about toilet habits and have no concept of inappropriateness. And to be honest, the lack of understanding – of knowing what’s right and wrong - is common in children all over the world but what I don’t understand is why they talk about this particular topic so freely here. After all, the Japanese are considered a conservative people, are they not?

And these antics don’t just stop at talking, but continue onto exploring it as well. You see, foreign teachers here tend to be larger in stature, which means that in some cases, our assets are also much larger. But it isn’t uncommon for children here to reach for said assets and give it a quick poke, or for some of the more confident children, a well pronounced punch in the goolies.

Children – 1, Teacher – down!

What’s more is the childhood phenomenon known as “koncho”, whereby children put their two index fingers together in an attempt to shock each other – or adults too – but prodding one forcibly in the anus. To them, it’s harmless fun, but to people like me, it’s a giant question mark. I mean, who does that really? Why would anybody want to voluntarily stick their fingers into someone else’s ass?

I’ve had a five-year-old boy attempt to flash me. Please note that not only was there a co-teacher in the room but also, his father was present – so why he felt comfortable enough to do that was way beyond me. I’ve also had a six-year-old mimic pinching nipples which was not only in front of his older brother but in front of a selection of parents coming to pick up their children as well. Young children here seem highly sexualised – whether they’re aware or not – and I’m really not sure where they’re getting it from.

Heck, when I was six-years-old, I found it embarrassing to say the word “kiss”. I didn’t know about the birds and the bees until I was eight, but I knew that discussing certain topics or making certain gestures was highly inappropriate (if I knew them at all).

But maybe it’s because of the customs here. As I mentioned in a previous entry, porn is readily available here. It’s even accessible at your local convenience store at eye-level of an unsuspecting child. What’s more is that cartoons are slightly more grown-up here – or generally what we in the west would consider to be. Twelve-year-olds can watch fairly-realistic cartoon violence, while four-year-olds can tune into cartoons like Crayon Shin Chan who I’ve been told, has been noted to pretend he’s a gay cross-dresser.

Note: I didn’t even know what a cross-dresser was until pre-adolescence.

Culturally, there are also a couple of annual penis festivals that take place. These are often a celebration of fertility but I suspect that if a child saw a giant phallus walking around, he might somehow interpret it to be okay to whip out his private parts…

As a result, I often have children attempt to get a rise out of me by screaming out rude words. Whether they’re simply doing it because of my lack of Japanese, or whether they’re doing it just because is beyond me. But as a child, if I ever did say a rude word, it was never in the presence of an adult.

What I’ve also noticed however is how the reverse seems to happen between our two cultures. Because children will freely discuss these things here but as they age, it becomes more taboo and for some people into adulthood, sex and the like becomes almost embarrassing to talk about. It’s something considered private despite its relatively easy access. But in the west, we started out relative innocent. And then we went to school, learnt secrets from our friends, had special lessons at school and now into adulthood, we can freely talk about it with no qualms whatsoever.

Even now, in the west, there’s debate on the sexualisation of children. We may not put our porn on the bottom shelf, but subliminally, sex is everywhere and it’s caused quite a stir. But it’s because we acknowledge it as a problem, that people are working towards trying to keep children innocent (granted, on the playground, it’s a little difficult). But in Japan, this discussion does not exist. And if there is a concern about children and sex, they’re keeping tight-lipped about it.

So it’s an interesting contrast between our two cultures. A little food for thought. Is it really just the media influencing kids? And is it really influence, when eventually, it’s something they will grow out of? Is this level of intrigue just kids being kids and not knowing where to draw the line? Or is there something else we’re missing completely?